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Marsha Bucanek

Surrogate Story: August, 2019

Month and Year surrogate baby/babies was born

October 2018

I was originally inspired to look into surrogacy because...

"As a Birth Doula and Childbirth Educator I have a passion for supporting families on their journey to parenthood. Surrogacy for me was a natural choice."

Favorite or most memorable moment during this whole process... 

“Watching her mom cry when she heard the heartbeat for the first time.”

Most unexpected during the process was...  

“The praise received by other people. I received so much support and encouragement along the way.”

The pregnancy was...

"Baby’s mom lived out of state, but we used video calls for her to be able to experience big milestones of the pregnancy and she was able to make a few trips out including the anatomy scan and the birth of her beautiful girl."

I talked to my kids before, during and after about surrogacy...

"We read children’s book about Surrogacy before I ever mentioned doing it myself. This helped to normalize the idea to them. When I had the conversation with them it went like this... “Ms._____ has a broken pouch and can’t carry her own baby” “Oh rats” “So I am going to carry her baby for her” “Yay! That’s so nice mommy” Children have a great way of accepting things on the purest level. During the pregnancy we spoke of my IM often and how excited she was to meet her baby."

Delivery and post-pregnancy was...

"You know, the delivery of Surro babe was a lot tougher than my own. But it did go smoothly and I delivered a beautiful baby at the end. My postpartum recovery was a lot easier. Obviously not having a newborn to care for mean more time to care for yourself."

Feelings when you saw the IP(s) hold their baby/babies for the first time...

"That all of the discomfort along the way was so worth it!"

One thing I wish I would have had in my hospital bag was...

"More food to sneak! Maybe I just wish I had more privacy to sneak said food lol."

Things my kid(s) and/or parter said when meeting the baby...

"My husband loves babies and that she was precious. My kids said she looked like the perfect baby for her mommy."

The benefits of working with an agency are...

"I loved not having to dress about the logistics! Having my own family to schedule is more than enough to keep me busy. The agency was amazing about handling the tough stuff so I didn’t have to.”

Words of wisdom to share with other/newer gestational carriers...

"Be flexible and go in knowing that you are one part of a huge puzzle. This journey has often been a long one for the intended parents. Give grace to yourself and them."

If I did this again it would be because...

"To relive the magic of helping build a family."