Talking To Your Spouse About Wanting To Become A Surrogate

So, you want to be a surrogate? Once you have done your research and realize this is something you feel called to do, you often think it’s time to jump in and get started. Then you bring it up to your spouse and receive a less than supportive response. What… you thought they would be on board. How are you going to help them understand so they can be in your corner? Do you need their support?

This is the reality of most surrogates who have a partner. While we have spent what’s likely hours and hours researching surrogacy, this idea is entirely new to them. Often you may be met with questions concerning your safety and even basic “That’s weird, why would you want to carry someone else’s baby.” Honestly, these thoughts are VALID, and I mean very VALID. Your health and safety are the priority during the surrogacy process. That’s why you go through a comprehensive screening process with a reproductive endocrinologist to ensure you are a good candidate for surrogacy. Does this guarantee a perfect pregnancy and delivery? No, but it is a great way to rule out candidates who are more likely to have complications. As for the “that’s weird, why would you want to carry someone else’s baby” concern? Sure, it may seem that way to others, but often as surrogates we have the desire to carry another pregnancy, but don’t want more children of our own, but more than that we want to be a part of helping another family experience the joy of parenthood. When your heart feels called, it’s hard to ignore! 

How can you help your spouse get on board with the idea of surrogacy? Show them the research you have done. Explain the process and maybe even let them read some stories from parents who have used a gestational surrogate to build their family. After all, aren’t these the things that helped you to decide surrogacy is for you? The support of your partner is imperative during your journey. There may be travel involved, there will definitely be many doctor’s appointments and, frankly, pregnancy can be tough on not only the pregnant person, but also those around her. A supportive partner is going to be much more willing to help fill in the gaps as needed. Together, as a team, surrogacy can be so rewarding! Having your partner share in that joy of watching the parents meet their baby for the first time only amplifies those feelings. 

BONUS: Texas Surrogacy is local to Texas! We have people on the ground here every day; we live here! We want to be available and supportive through this process. We offer monthly meet-ups, special events and will meet you where you are if needed. We love Texas and we love what we do. Visit us at and fill out our intake form to become a Gestational Carrier (surrogate) or for a free consultation as an Intended Parent.