Dear Supportive Surrogate: Giving Yourself Shots and Unsupportive People

Dear Supportive Surrogate, 

I want to become a gestational carrier, and after doing a ton of research, I think now is the time. However, if I am being honest, I am absolutely terrified of giving myself shots. How did you overcome this fear? Does it get easier? 

Dear Honest,

It’s great that you know this may be an issue for you. I can’t say I was personally terrified of giving myself shots, but I certainly wasn’t thrilled with the idea! I prepared myself by watching videos done by nurses on IVF meds. It really eased my own fears, to be able to watch someone else do it, while explaining the process. Of course, I was still nervous when the time came to do it myself. But it did get easier! With each shot I took I knew I was one step closer to helping my IPs meet their sweet baby. If you know it’s a fear you can work through, just prepare! If you aren’t confident you can overcome it, surrogacy may not be the right choice for you. 

Dear Supportive Surrogate,

I am afraid my friends and family won’t understand my choice to become a surrogate. How should I handle those who are not supportive? 

Dear Afraid,

Surrogacy is an amazing gift! But it’s not something those around us may be familiar or comfortable with. I have found the best we can do is give them a bit of grace. Offer information to those who are willing to receive it. For those who can’t find it within themselves to be supportive, acknowledge their feelings and let them know you are happy with your decision to help another family and are happy to answer future questions they may have. Or, if needed, give yourself the same grace and allow some distance if that’s what you need. It’s is not your job to get others to understand, but being willing to try may improve your own experience. 

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