What happens if my Intended Parents are difficult to communicate with?
Most relationships between surrogates and intended parents are incredibly positive and many of these relationships will end up creating life long friendships. When you finally start your surrogacy journey with your chosen intended parents, it will be an exciting moment. After all the preliminary screening, matching and legal requirements, you all are ready to start creating a family together. Like any intimate relationship, your relationship with your intended parents may come with challenges at times. It’s important to be prepared for this and to find compromises that make everyone happy. Here are some general tips for making sure you build a healthy relationship based on mutual respect:
Understanding your intended parents lack of control in the process
Many intended parents have waited what seems like a lifetime to have a child of their own. Once the embryo transfer is successful and you become pregnant, they will have to give up control of their child’s development and trust that you will properly take care of their unborn child. This can be extremely difficult, especially if this is one of the last chances, they have to become parents. Communication between you and your intended parents may become overwhelming at times and for this reason it’s important to remember to how they feel in this situation. If contact with your intended parents starts to interfere with your day to day life, respectfully bring up your concerns with your surrogacy professional.
Schedule your contact with each other
To ensure all parties are comfortable with the amount of contact you’ll have, you should all make sure to set an agreeable contact schedule early on. This will allow all parties to know when and how to contact each other at different points in your surrogacy journey. After all parties have agreed upon a schedule and are comfortable with it, this should give both you and the intended parents piece of mind knowing that you will hear from each other at given times throughout the pregnancy. Of course, your schedule should allow flexibility, especially near your due date when your frequency of contact may increase. The establishment of a healthy communication between all parties early on will ensure strong communication throughout.
Open communication
Surrogacy will require a significant amount of commitment of your time and energy, make sure to maintain your regular schedule (as long as it’s for a healthy baby) and try to continue your everyday lifestyle as best you can. Being open and honest about your needs will not only make sure you are happy during this surrogacy journey but also go a long way in establishing a healthy relationship with the intended parents. Don’t hesitate to express any concerns with your surrogacy professional if you have them, they are there to assist when needed.
Have flexibility with your intended parents’ desires
Try to empathize with your intended parents when they ask things of you. Remember, these people would give anything to be in your position and be pregnant with their own child. Their desires may seem like overreaching at times, but try to keep their feelings in mind. Share your pregnancy experience with them, including any milestone along the way. Being accepting of the intended parents’ smallest desires will mean so much to them, so welcome them as a part of your surrogacy pregnancy journey.
While the responsibility for your relationship will mainly be between you and the intended parents, your surrogacy professional can act as a mediator if need be. A surrogacy professional can handle sensitive issues that may arise in the surrogacy process and can offer a non-confrontational remind to each party of their responsibilities and agreements. Remember, in most surrogacy journey’s a respectful and caring relationship will emerge naturally between you and the intended parents, just always be honest and open.