My Second Surrogacy Journey
My second surrogacy journey started at the end of 2019. I knew I wanted to carry another surro baby but I also wanted to take my time and match with the right family. Discussing with my husband and preparing my family for my second journey was a bit easier this time. We all knew what to expect from the matching process, the medications, and preparing my body to carry another baby.
I was matched with a family fairly local to me in January 2020. We met the first time via zoom for our official match meeting. During our match meeting, we discussed all the important items for a healthy surrogacy journey. By the end of our zoom meeting, all parties shocked the agency when we announced our moving forward together. When you know, you know and it was apparent we all wanted to work together to grow their family.
The intended parents lived fairly local as I mentioned, so they came to as many appointments as they were allowed to join (due to the global pandemic) during our pregnancy. For my second surrogacy journey, I thought I knew what to expect. I became acutely aware that even though I went through the experience once before, that each journey holds its own rewards and challenges, especially during a pandemic. Due to Covid-19 the intended father and my husband were not able to join the intended mother and me during transfer. Our first transfer was a success and I was pregnant with their little girl.
This pregnancy seemed to fly by. Both intended parents came to every ultrasound appointment we had. I truly enjoyed watching them adore their sweet baby girl through the ultrasound screens, I could feel the love they had for her already.
At this moment I would like to add my intended parents had two gestational carriers pregnant at the same time (me and another woman). This alone created another layer to this surrogacy journey. Halfway through my pregnancy, I met their other gestational carrier and we bonded over our pregnant baby bumps and journey so far. We talked about the good and bad of our pregnancies, the deliveries we are planning, and our relationships with the intended parents. It was amazing to be able to connect with another surrogate who was carrying at the same time I was. Our due dates were three months apart.
Around 32 weeks I started to feel off, I was experiencing headaches, dizziness, extreme heartburn, mood swings, etc. My husband, daughter, and co-workers all noticed changes in me as well. I visited labor and delivery multiple times during the next week to be checked out. On a Monday in mid-January, I started experiencing chest pain so my husband took to me labor and delivery because he knew something was not right. I was diagnosed with preeclampsia and had to deliver my sweet surro baby that day, 7 weeks early. Not only was preeclampsia dangerous for me, but it was also dangerous for the baby. The intended parents live a few hours away and due to the emergency delivery, they missed the birth of their daughter. I delivered my sweet surrogate baby girl later that night and her parents arrived at the hospital 20-ish minutes after I heard her first cry.
I knew that I was going to deliver via a C-section so I was prepared for that. I was just not prepared for early delivery. I had my own biological daughter to think about and arranging for childcare and making sure that her needs were met was somewhat nerve-racking. My family and friends were there to support all of us so that calmed my nerves a bit. Being a surrogate involves the entire family including their emotions, feelings, and thoughts. I wanted to be sure that I considered how they were doing during my pregnancy. It was amazing to have a supportive husband and family to help me especially after the delivery and during my painful recovery.
I wasn’t able to hold my sweet surrogate baby in the hospital because she was a preemie and because of Covid-19. It wasn’t until mid-April when I was officially able to meet and hold this sweet little girl that I carried. From our traumatic delivery, extra time in the hospital, and all the hours I spent pumping milk for her, it was all so worth it. We were able to take pictures for our photo album and my daughter cried with excitement. Up until I was able to hold the baby, I did not feel like I had closure after the birth. This was challenging and upsetting at times. Her parents did say that they would keep in touch by sending photos and stopping in for a visit when they are in town.