Dear Supportive Surrogate: Biggest Worries as Surrogate

Dear Supportive  Surrogate,

I’m thinking seriously about the idea of surrogacy and am really curious about what some of the things are that worried you most as a surrogate? 

Dear Thinking,

I think the thing that worried me the most about surrogacy was a fear of not being able to give a healthy baby. This shouldn’t have been a fear of mine, because I had two super heathy full term babies before I was a surrogate.  As a gestational surrogate you feel that your one job is to grow a baby. It’s not just one little job; there so many other things you have to do as a gestational surrogate that come with so many little worries, too. Such as, am I doing these injections right? Is my body reacting ok to the medications? The countless blood draws I had to do and then waiting for the results came with so many worries and what ifs , but the one thing that worried me the most was giving them a healthy no NICU time baby. I’ve seen my intended parents struggle enough in their own journey; they did not need to struggle any more. I felt like giving them a healthy baby was my job; a job that I could not complete early. Of course, I was tested along the way with preterm labor, and that brought my worries from a ten to about a million but a wise woman told me “You must stay positive.” So that is what we did. We stayed positive and if there is one thing I learned it’s that EVERYTHING is figure-out-able. Everything that comes up has a solution. 

With each step of the surrogacy process there are worries, but even if the babies came early they would have been ok. There is always someone somewhere willing to help you. I mean that’s how I meet my intended parents right? I was willing to help. There is always someone who has done this before who is willing to listen or give some advice. You are not going to be the first one to inject a huge needle in your butt, and you definitely are not going to be the first to stick it in the wrong place. Every surrogate has been there and we all had that massive bruise on our butt from injecting that huge needle. With each worry and heartache there will be someone else who has been there too, and we can support you through this. Working with a great agency has it perks, and one of the perks is endless support for you, and if they don’t have what you need at their fingertips, they will find something for you. 

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